My thought at 20 weeks of pregnancy

A letter to my own self.

You are great at current stage. Confident, happy, contented and gosh ..are easily tired too. You are able to absorb that little kind of preassure from your current job position. Although, ya I havent finish, you are planning something at your head. Your long term planning is how to be able to work from home. Hmmmm...

You condemned yourself of your initial thought to send CHLOE to her grandmother. Yes, she has been demanding to be carried by you. Only that...and a little big fussy lately. It will passed.. she needs that little assurance that she still hold the crown in your heart. Actually, you are relieved that you didnt make that decision. Isnt it the most happiest thing to see growth of you both children?

You only hope to see the healthiest baby in 4 months time. Oh! How lovely it is to be able to hug that little life soon.

Love,
Me

Her meltdown

She has been very hard to 'settle' lately. Daddy has losing his cool few time and spanked her butt on few occasion.

        Last Saturday is another meltdown drama. We are back from nanny house and it her nap time. I am also look forward to lay flat. She was so engaged to her cartoon at Ipad and do not want to sleep.

I keep the Ipad high.

She cried.. hardly.

I try to reason.. she hits me.

Shouting and crying like tornado just-visit.

I lost myself. I lift up my hand ( the same hand that i use to caress her, hug her, make her food, etc) and spank her hard on her butt near the thigh. I could feel my hand swelling hot.

She do no give up.. still insisting the ipad!

I get mad uncontrolled.

I spank again.  My hand is hot and swell.. but my heart is even pain.

Now, she settled.

I shouted at her " Take you bottle and lay down" she obeyed.  I relief...in a few second she fall asleep.


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Last night, she almost get the same treat again..

But, me been wiser by time..divided her attention and managed to settle her peacefully.

If you ask me, which path i will choose, i will say the second.  Is better divide her attention , that give her a spank-STOP order.

Chloe 1st drawing

Mummy proud of your drawing! By the way, it is face.
3y2day