Promising year ahead, 2014

So fast, so fast , is almost year end. When a lot of people is thinking about the decoration for the Christmas tree, I am pondering in my own self.. seem confused, unmotivated, unrest , just to say a few. Rather? is this related to my current pregnancy stage of 29 weeks. Wow! Amazing.

Year 2014

Promised a baby boy for me.. I am anticipated the birth of this little brother for Chloe.  How the life would be with this new member in the family? Can I cope between be a good mother and a good employee? Will I drained ? Oh.. how the rest of the year would be for me?

Chloe is going to be 4 this year. I felt like something hitting hard on my head..you mean 4? It means I need to work more on her academic development soon. There is a lot of expectation for the pre-schooler nowadays.

Mother has been complaining about the numbness on his body recently.. I am worried. This year I will work harder on the family health.

How about my online business? I am going to brush it well starting from this year. You know , I am a kind of procrastinating one.. in a comfort zone. haizz...

This year also will decide my career path, whether I will be a full time mother or stay as an effective employee.. honestly, I like my job, minus the little pressure I get sometime.

I thinks hub is the person I most neglected..this year I need to work on the relationship.. reminding why I marry him ##wink wink..

For the coming year, I hope I will be organize and the sailing will be smoother..

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!

Decision to be full time mother

Before she was born, is my grand-est wish that I will be able to take care my own child. However, due to something 'happen' , I need to draw back this thinking for moments. Now the things come back to me again...

 

The things has been lingering in my mind since now and then.

Question 1
You need the job or the job need you?

Question 2
Few years down the road will you regret with your decision?

Question 3
How much you gain and loss? Have you counted well?

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This is self questions and answers section ;)

 

For questions 1.
I am thankful to hubs that actually he has provide me with financial stability. Though I am working now, my pays just enough for my own debts. This mean that I am not contributing to household income and things may be alright if I stay home and take care the kids. Counting the monthly childcare we need to spent monthly really do not worth it. Say me a calculative one!! So now, back to the question, job need me or I need job?  Presently I think my child needs me more. Who can love and can care for them as much as me? I am nothing to the world but a whole world for my child.

 

For question 2.
R.e.g.r.e.t is painful even when it is spelled , what to say when you are in it. If I am a working mum, I wont regret for the amount of financial freedom I have, the 'me' time that I am longing, the job achievement and the society perspective on me. Ironically,  society respect you when you says you work in certain organization compare to when you describe them how your child get a balance diet each day. But. . I will regret if my own child is not properly taken care of, if I am not the one who mould their personality, if one day she decided to let go of me because we lack...so called connection or in the simple word ..there is gap. My heart sank and self blame for her constipation few weeks back. If I am at home,  caring for her diet , she wont need to go through the ordeal. Maybe I wont regret, because my reward is seeing them grow up everyday.. and that is so warm!...

 

For question 3.

I have a blank mind onto answering the question now...

 

opps....